I wish for Something I can Never Have
by Peonyqt1004
Summary: Xelloss's POV about his love for Lina, X/L, and also, its my first X/L songfic, or any fic made about them. So reveiw!


Aha; My first X and L fic.; I think G and L make a better pair, but X and L isn't unreasonable, I mean he did kiss her and stuff; So I am writing a song fic for them. Aw, (Gourry and Lina are still meant to be! :b) So buu~! And after wards........ REVEIW~! BANZAIII~! This is a one shot.  
  
  
Something I can Never Have......  
  
By: Peonyqt1004 (MOI~!)  
  
  
  
A purple haired man stood high on a tree branch, his eyes open, revealing amyrest eyes, his main focus was on a praticular red head who was sitting on a rock chatting with a tall blonde. The couple did not notice the dark shadow above them as they were chatting, oblivious to anything around them. A soft sigh escaped Xellosses lips. 'How I envy you....' He thought wistfully, staring at the red head who just rested her head on the blondes shoulders.   
  
"Sometimes I wish,  
I wish, I wish for something I can't have,  
And that something is you...."  
  
He stared longingly at the red head who leans closer to the blonde swordsman. A soft happy sigh passed her lips, a beautiful melodic whisper whispering her lovers name. "Gourry~."  
  
"You whisper anothers name,  
How beautiful the sound is,  
How I wish I was that name,  
And that other was me...."  
  
He let in a mournful wail about to erupt from his throat and scorch his soul, he didn't need to watch this, yet he needed too, just to make sure it was true, and it was. And the truth hurt.  
  
How much you entrance me,  
Is that your secret?  
I wish I knew the secret to your heart,  
I wish I wish, for something I can't have,  
And that someones the one I wish for.........  
  
Somehow he made it out of the tree and down the branch, hidden from their veiw in the shadows, not letting his violet eyes see the kiss. It hurt alot, and he felt the sudden urge to run, instead tears blurred his veiw, hazing everything. A strange feeling it was, being lost in your own misery and pain, drowing you, blinding you. For the first time in a long while he cried, silently.  
  
I can tell you a secert,  
If you tell me yours,  
But that secret will never be known to me,  
For you already gave it away,  
The strangest thing happened to me today,  
Not only did I shed some tears,  
But I wished to be the other,  
The other in your arms.......  
  
He could'nt help it, he tripped ungracefully, quite unlike himself. In a flurry of arms and legs he tumbled down the tree, wincing as he slid down the bark and attempting to smile as Lina and Gourry turned to stare at him.  
  
Sometimes I wish,  
I wish, I wish for something I can't have,  
And that something is you....  
  
He attempted to smile, yet his smile wavered, his eyes opened as they stared at him, one with the stare only a dead rat can have and the other with horror and shock...... or did he feel more? No, it was all an illusion, it had to be.  
  
This hurt you gave to me,  
Is that an illusion too?  
I wish I knew your secert,  
You unlocked mine its only fair,  
Yet you gave it to another,  
And the greatest treasure too,  
It has to be an illusion,  
Yet the pain and tears are too real.......  
  
Xelloss felt shame rise up in him, he blinked back the unfamiliar wetness and smiled. "A nice day for couples ne?" He said in the cheerfulist voice he could muster, but he failed to keep a humoress look as he watched with jelousy as Gourry wrapped an arm around Lina. "We didn't mind." Gourry said with the cheerfulness and kindess around him, was that what made Lina fall in love?  
  
How much you entrance me,  
Is that your secret?  
I wish I knew the secret to your heart,  
I wish I wish, for something I can't have,  
And that someones the one I wish for.........  
  
Maybe thats what repelled her, his evil ways, or maybe more? He saw Lina step closer, her voice a whisper. "Xelloss....." He could'nt stand it. "Please, Lina, I hope you two are happy together." He saw a flicker of something in her crimson eyes, what was that?  
  
Do you feel the same?  
Are you scared of me?  
Did my outward facade,  
Scare you away?  
I said I could not love,  
But if that was true what Is this I feel?  
I wish, I wish I was with you.  
  
Lina wetteed her dry lips. "Xelloss....." She turned to Gourry. "Jelly fish, I need to talk with fruitcake for a while ok? Xelloss wanted to run, he despertly tried to teleport away, only to have Lina clamp onto his arm, he could'nt leave, he wanted her to touch him so bad, he wanted to love again. But she loved another, and that hurt.  
  
This hurt you gave to me,  
Is that an illusion too?  
I wish I knew your secert,  
You unlocked mine its only fair,  
Yet you gave it to another,  
And the greatest treasure too,  
It has to be an illusion,  
Yet the pain and tears are too real.......  
  
Xelloss watched Gourry smile and leave, what an idiotic man. But he was so kind and loving and protective over Lina, was that the key? What about him entranced her so much? Lina turned to him. "Xelloss..... I know what your thinking."  
  
You seem to know everything I am about to do,  
How do you do that?  
How do you know How I feel?  
How do you make me feel this way?  
Someday I will learn your secret,  
And protect myself from your devilish grasps,  
But I don't want to,  
Why is that?  
  
Xelloss swallowed. "Ah, Lina-chan, how can you possibly read my mind?" He grinned soberly down to his only love, the only human or any race of beings that made him love like this. Lina pointed at his nose with a slender finger. Then broke into a sad smile and shook her index finger at him. "It's a secret." Linas eyes were sad as she looked at him. Xelloss took in a sharp breathe and smiled his usual smiled. "Lina, can you keep a secret?" He asked, not daring to breathe. Lina stared at him, "Uh.... Of course for you!" She smiled, yet she seemed sad. Was it because her love was gone? Xelloss toook in a breathe. "Ai shiteru Lina." Her eyes widened and Xelloss opened his eyes, his eyes were sad. "Even if you marry him, I'm always there for you, always, I will always love you, and you only. If you ever need me, I'll be there, no matter what I did to hurt you or tease you, it was all for your attention, but you wanted anothers." Xelloss's voice broke but he blinked it back. "I'm only here for you, and you're my one and only." Xelloss turned away. "Remeber, its a secret between us." He turned and was called back by a voice which he always thought as beautiful.  
  
  
This hurt you gave to me,  
Is that an illusion too?  
I wish I knew your secert,  
You unlocked mine its only fair,  
Yet you gave it to another,  
And the greatest treasure too,  
It has to be an illusion,  
Yet the pain and tears are too real.......  
  
Lina stepped toward him, her eyes were shining. "Xelloss." She touched his arm, he stiffened as she touched him. "Turn around fruitcake." She demanded softly. Xelloss hesitatingly turned around slowly. Lina stepped closer to him. "Can you keep a secret too?" Xelloss stared at her quizzically, and curiosity got the better of him. "Its a secret." He said, agreeing to the terms, well why not? Lina took in a breath. "You would have been my second." She let out. "You would have been my one and only." Xellosses eyes opened wide, he felt a strange sensation in his heart, pain and a sweet moment of love. "Can you do one favor for me my sweet Lina?" Xelloss asked, his voice low. Lina looked at him, her eyes were tearful. "Hai." She whispered. Xelloss stepped forward. "Kiss me."  
  
Do you feel the same?  
Are you scared of me?  
Did my outward facade,  
Scare you away?  
I said I could not love,  
But if that was true what Is this I feel?  
I wish, I wish I was with you.  
  
Xelloss didn't know if she would, 'Most likely she won't and would probably hit me aside the head.' He thought sourly. But was suprised to find warm gentle gloved hands holding his fcae and found himself drowining in a pair of crimson eyes.  
  
How much you entrance me,  
Is that your secret?  
I wish I knew the secret to your heart,  
I wish I wish, for something I can't have,  
And that someones the one I wish for.........  
  
He felt her soft lips on his own, tasting sweet and warm, if he could taste love, this was it, the taste of strawberry and honey. It was all too soon when she pulled away. "Lina....." Lina placed a finger on his lips. "Its a secret." She whispered sadly. "Always...... you would have been my second, I wish it was another way, the moment you told me Mozukus can't love I barricaded myself from you." A twang of regret viberated in his heart, if only he had'nt said that. Lina continued. "Maybe thats why I can't entirely love you? Because you can't love me. I don't want that." She sighed. "But Xelloss, if only you told me before....." Xelloss berated himself and felt a saddness he never felt before in him, and also it was radiating from Lina. He never knew he loved her until the moment with Phibizeo, he was scared, but he was scared of Zela too, but once he saw Gourry kiss and hug Lina, that was when he felt the twinge of Jelousy, and his realization to his feelings towards Lina, which he had always tried to bury, he had been attracted to her from the start. Her firey and beautifully uniqe (Not to mention powerful) personality drawing him like a moth to a light.  
  
I can tell you a secert,  
If you tell me yours,  
But that secret will never be known to me,  
For you already gave it away,  
The strangest thing happened to me today,  
Not only did I shed some tears,  
But I wished to be the other,  
The other in your arms.......  
  
Xelloss pulled away sadly and saw Linas face contort with tears. "Shh...." He whispered, "I hate to see you like this." He wiped away the tears. "I'll always be there." Lina choked back tears. "You would have been number 2, but Gourry will always be my number one." Xelloss felt saddness and lonliness and jelousy overflow from him as he pulled away and turned around. "But I don't want to be number two Lina, we could've changed things, we could've been one, but simply I want to be your number one, I'll be there for you, always, waiting...." He turned away and walked and heard her voice calling him. "Xelloss don't tell Gourry--" Xelloss turned around, putting on the mask of being a cheerful trickester preist. "Ah, Its a secret, trust me, I never lied to you before." She nodded as she wiped her tears. "Good bye." She whispered. Xelloss turned and walked away. Lina never noticed the tear that dropped from Xellosses now shadowed eyes and didn't notice the beauty of that one tear as it hit the grassy floor with a tiny splash, and dissappeared forever.  
  
Sometimes I wish,  
I wish, I wish for something I can't have,  
And that something is you....  
Ai Shiteru My one and Only......  
I'm always there,  
Waiting.......  
And Waiting.....  
Till you come running to my arms.  
  
  
FINI~!  
  
Aiiee~! I made up the Lyrics, so um, yea..... I hope you liked, it was my first attempt at a X and L fic, well, L like G more.... but! ^^; It was sad? Reveiw? Please? *puppy eyes* A responsible reader should reveiw and I demand that of you! So please, do so. In my opinion X and L are almost as good as G and L, but not quite. *Smiles* JA NE~!  
  
Zela: Are there going to be more X and L fics from you? *Pops out*  
  
Gourry: There better not be, what was the question again? *gets hit by Lina*  
  
Lina: Ano.....; C'mon Peonyqt1004, give u s break. :b  
  
Me: Well that...... *Smiles* Is a secret. *blows out the candle and goes to sleep as the wax on the candle drips and stops as the moon shines through the window, taking me to the beautiful dreamland.*  
  
~Peonyqt1004 


End file.
